there is always once in my life, i will ask about my existence. i keep thinking, do i deserve to have this kind of feelings? did i make a right decision? am i wrong? i keep thinking and thinking and thinking should i seek for help? it is even worth it? am i just exaggerating things?

every day i keep thinking should i post about it on my blog, should i just typing about it and let it go? i am already 21 and i didn't know how to approach people to let them know what i have been keeping. i am just afraid with their feedback. with their response. from the beginning, the relationship never close. the relationship never lovely.

it is hard when people only know the opposite of you. it is hard to actually telling everyone that i am not strong. i am not happy. i am not okay. it is hard because i keep thinking that i am a burden.

how i wish i could hug someone while im crying without telling them anything. i jut want someone to be there when i am falling apart. i just want someone to rub my back and tell me everything is okay even though they didn't know what is actually happen. i know it is okay to overthinking, but it didn't make me feel any better because i am alone.

       Okay this is so funny. so recently i have changed my nickname from "baeha" to "beeha" cause i think i want to keep the original sound to pronounce my name which is "biha" . Plus i think to combine my name with bee is cute. So the funny part is i tried to find beeha on google just to see whether people can find my blog from that name or not. but something came up that make me shocked and laugh for sure.